Bein Polyt

Musashi Sez:

Wull, in an-tissi-payshun of mai mom’z comin out as a soprono-girl-typ-singr, she has bougtid a veree cool witch’s hat. She left it on the bed an I thougt, “Huh. It blak. I’m blak. I shud go nap on this noo hat.” An so I rapt maiself around it, but I reelyzd that it is poyntee. I is not poyntee, cuz mom sez being poyntee is not polyt. An I wuz bornd in a tuxedo, so I wuz bornd to be polyt, at leest twennee-free hourz a dae.

So I is “navrgaytin” this whol polytniss thin. But meenwhil, I is servin as mai mom’s vocal cotch. This meen that she sing an I complayns about how she sing. I is getting veree gud at this.

“Huh!” sez I. “Yer A Flat kinda suk. Yu shud consintrayt mor on wher yer tong is.”

Or:

“Yu call that a E? Yer vybrott-o is goin to shimmy that down to a F-sharp. Huh.”

Lik that. I figgr, if I can’t mayk it as a innernashunnul spai, I kin be a top notch vokil cotch.

An that Symin Cowl fellr frum Inglund had bettr watch his toez…

Dam Yu, Jak Frost! (Apparentlee)

Musashi Sez:

So todae Mom caym hom veree layt. Fynlee!!! It tuk her long enugf!

But she wuz veree ty-erd, cuz she spent the WHOL dae at her skool, the one wher she is lernin stuffs about Ceiling Cat. This also the one wher she lernd to tie a bo-tie yestrdae, an wher she is currentlee studeein about Ceiling Cat’s son, Happy Cat. Her paper that she is givin on Fridae nigt is about this whol Trinitee (Ceiling Cat bein three peeplez) problim. In the New Revised LOLCat Version (NRLV) of the Bybul, it seem lik ther ar a fyoo ideerz about whu that 3rd person luk lik. An Mom iz goin to talking about that.

But also, she is goin to be singin a song fer her frend whu is havin a hard tim. AND she got Shang-Hyd into a nuthr “skit” (this lik a reelee short plae, egsept it is moslee song). She is a littul less nervus about it. She say that the mor peeplez ther is, the less nervus yu has to be. She call this “soshul sykologee.”

Also, mai mom want yu to noe that she wrytid a bit about the Japan thing on her skool’s blog. Yu kin find it at 99Brattle.blogspot.com

PS: Mai mom wud lik to point out that wen she Googld, “Dam yu, Jak Frost,” she gottid 110,000 responses. This cleerlee sugjest somthin. We ar jus not shur egzaktlee whut.

SPRING! An Yu Noe Wut That Meen!

Musashi Sez:

So, yesterdae wen mai mom wuz goin to the londree-plays, a Robin Orinj-Chest swooped!!! in front of her, yellin, “IT’S SPRING!" An then when she caym bak agin wift the londree, he wuz standin ther on the lawn bein all spring-lik.

So we ar not too pleezd about the snow todae. It is egstra sno. Unwantid sno. It get in the wae of the pertee blu sky whu wentid awae cuz it got so cold. Huh.

But, nevr one to ignor an oppertoonitee, Mom went to skool an lernd stuff. Moslee, she lernd to tie a bo-tie, which she will need to do for the VARIETEE SHO on Fridae nigt at her school. She is goin to be a witch from Oxford singin Glee songs. I think.

I not to cleer on this VARIETEE SHO thin.

But it does meen she ben singin to me, an that is OK. That seem springlik. So she kin vareitee if she want to. I not mind.

Japan an Their Reellee BIG Problimz

Musashi Sez:

As mos of yu folks noe, mai mom livd in Japan fer mor than 2 yeerz, which is a verree long tim, lik 1 of the 1/5 fraxunz. An them Jepaneez hoomin peeplez wer verree kind an frendlee to her, an halpd her find wher to go an stuffs.

So cleerlee, this blog is goin to be havin whut them jurnalists call “biass” wift our bein mor for them Japaneez folks rathr than agen them. An also, nooz flash, mai naym, Musashi, com from the graytist Japaneez swordsman evr, Miyamoto Musashi. Huh.

So yu all shud not be surpryzd wen we tells yu that the big erthqwayke an sunamani-tidul-wayv-thing in Japan are causin folks to has havok an also lotsa sad.

The gud nooz is that Cat Iland, near Ishinomaki citee, is okay, although they doezn’t has enugf fud.

So yu shud donayt to the Red Cross an World Vets, an playsiz lik that wher hoomin peeples is goin to halp out.

Don't jus sit ther reedin. Donayt!!!

March Forfth

Musashi Sez:

I ben reedin the nooz on the kapyootr, an ther lots of peeplez’ revolooshunz goin on, parentlee.Whut soopryz me is that mos of them is jus hoomin peeplez revolooshunz, not kittee or doggee or eevn hmpstr revolooshunz. I meen, heer it is, Revolooshun Seezun, which start today wift March Forfth, so yu’d thingk that everboddee, not jus the hoominz, wud be marchin. Huh.

I gess it is troo, what that Maree Dalee ladee sed: if yu gots enugf tokins of yer speeseez in a pertikler pozishunz of powr, ther not be so manee revolooshunz.I’m thingkin ther mus be a wae around this. Hmmm. This mae reqwyr thingkin in my littul grey Thingkin Bed by the windo.

But it verree cleer to me that hoomin peeplez, their okayzhunul compashunit yoos of their thumz notwiftstandin, has got too mutch daynjerus control of the werld, its media, an its noms. So I am increesinlee thingkin that we kitteez mus revolt or somthin.

Altho, mebbe not till aftr dinner.

Aftr all, we may be bein librul, but we not totlee stoopid.

Huh.

Mai Noo Kareer Planz, Dspyt Mom

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I noe that mai mom is ternin into a bleedin-hart librul pasifst dweeb, her praktis of kungfu notwifstandin, but I has desydid aneewae to becom a Warrieer Kittee wen I growz up. This becuz I fyndid theez reelee cool piktchrz of kittee wariooor armr on the Innrwebz.

Seemz lik, bak wen hoomin peeplez wer figtin wift sordz, they hads halp frum their kittee companyunz, whu of cors yoozd their clawrz, but needed a littul proteckshun in addishun to that.

Cuz, yu noe, amreez ar danjrus playsiz to go. Huh.

I cud be samrai, lik in Japan, or I cud be somthin “diffruntlee glamruss.” See, I lernin plitikul crektness (which I think has to do wift dill pikkulz swimming in cricks wiftout innerfeerins. Still not 1000% shur...)

Bizee, Bizee, Bizzee

Musashi Sez:

Wull, this wuz goin to be a blog about how ridiklus bizzee mai mom is, but then we hadsd a copy/paste aksident wift the werd CUT ignominioususlee prezint wher we NOT wantid it.

Yu all missd a grayt blog. It menshund that moovee about taht king fellr whu cudn't meow propr, an also mai mom'z oppertoonitee to sing backup fer a old frend whu wus recording psalms an othr songz about Ceiling Cat.

*Sigh*

Yu don't now whut yu misst.

An I dint eevn get to tell yu bout all the books I'm sleepin on to halp wift mai mom'z litratchoor rivyoo fer nex yeer.

I gess yu'll jus hafta wait...