Desolayshuns of MUSASHI!!!

Musashi Sez:

So Mom wentid out tonigt wift her frend Cindee (whu I has met) to a movie about this little guy, Bilbo Baggins (a hobbit burglar), an his thirteeen Dwarven frends whu needed to tayk back their lonely mountain from this veree scaree DRAGON! They hads to march across lotsa couches an bookshelves to get to there. But this dragon feller, Smog (the Terrible), was waitin fer them!

Now this Smog (the Magnifiscent) feller wuz egzactlee the eevil feller whu had laid waste to their kingdom an all the kingdoms in that genral location (incloodin, but not limited to, Eregion an Laketown an that other place whose name I can't rmembember), cause parently, that is what smogs do.

An it seem lik Smog (the Avaricious) win at the end of this particlar movie, but Mom has pointed out to me that, in fact, this is just two-thrids of the way thru the akshul story, an I shud not get my hopes up about Smog’s eventchool victoryus outcome, because stories lik this don't normallee go so gud fer people lik dragons an other big ol' mean bad guys.

But that’s okay. I figger I kin spend a year playin at bein Smog (the Reellee, Reellee Bad), Destroyer of Nayshunz, until the last movie comes out where they slays him, an then I kin be all, like, "La la la, I’m a steampunk ninja, sillee!"

An Mom keeps mutterin, “Work in progress, work in progress.” Huh.

When the Cold Gets Colderer

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 Musashi Sez:

We  tried to send this one out last night, but there wuz whut mom called a Snffoo. Parently, that meenz technologee is actin up again, as usual.

So yesterdae, Mom an me wer werkin wift a apartmint that had heat whut she calls “innermittenly.” You migt think this means that the heat onlee werked from yer rigt front mitten to yer left, an yu wud not be entirelee rong. So she typed a lot whil I ran laps around the apartmint. (I wud hav worn her werkout soot, but it onlee hav 2 legs an they wer boft wae too long fer me.)

Layter, she went to “Werk Out At the Jim (WOAJ)” an she sed she got almost fiftee minits, but laytlee there has not been lots of tylet papr or towlz in the laydeez part of the jim. She says she thinks it is becuz of Girl Noo Yeer Rezolutionaries, of who there are more than thre are Girl Staff. But she says that by Febrooaree or March, that will work out when folks looz their rezolootness.

Meanwhil, our apartmint was cold an less-cold all day, until evening, when it got positively TOOCOLD. This not just a problim fer me an mom. Oh no. We also has the parental units of our Russhian roommate visitin from Moskow. So this a big problim, cuz of course, they not used to the verree cold wehter. Huh.

An then there were the communikayshunz problims, cuz mom onlee knows how to say “No. Plese. Thankque. Hello. Cheers.” and mebbee “Goodbye, Comrade” in Russian. An the parental units only knoes how to say, “Good Mornink. Thenkyu. Cold. Temperatura. Sick. Inglish bad.”

Which are to sae that they wer communicatin at the verree samest level. An that level not hav aneethin, words or fhrazis, like whut wud halp them communicate things like, fer egsample:

Them: The radiator isn’t working. It is very cold.

Mom: The landlord knows the radiator isn’t working. They will call me. Here is an extra blanket.

Them: Oh no. Do not give us your only blanket.

Mom: It is extra. For emergency. And the landlord will call me back.

It went on like that fer a while. But it turn out that if yu can show folks three extra blankets, an point wift yer toes to them an yu an then yooz Google Translator an prints the weird Cyriclic letters out, you kin commyoonikates just fin.

Also, it halps if maintenance eventchoolee calls an says that the oil feed thing wuz clogged, which explains the on-again, off-again, an now is fixed.

The we kin all sleeps warm, wiftout all the egstra blankits! Huh.

My Success So Far

Musashi Sez:

Wull, it turn out that all this Noo Yeer stuff require lots an lots of practis. Fer example, I has been sayin Pleez verree well, when I wants Mom to wayk up or to feeds me or to plae wift me an that Crazy Red Dot!!! Thankyu is harder. I mean, I can do it when mom gets up an I can do it when she gives me a bellee rub. But the feedin one is hard cuz in between the Th and the Q is lots of om-nom-noms. Mom says I are a work in practis. Or possibly progress. I fergits.

Meanwhile I has been tryin to figger out how to be frends again wift Mister Tygr, whu so disrpointed me when we wuz havin our ninja vs. steampunk argyoomint. Finally, he pointed out that the real argyoomint was akshullee ninjas vs. pirates, and that in fact BOFT ninjas AN pirates cud be steampunk if they wanted to be. So we cud play steampunk ninjas one day an then steampunk airship pirates the next. This brillyunt discovery has made my days much less lonlee and also mutch more egsytin!!!

Figurin Out My Improovmints

Musashi Sez:

So my Grandmom sent me a email askin if I was sayin Pleez an Thankyu enugf, an of corse she was rigt, I don’t. So fer this yeer I rezoloot to say Pleez an Thankyu mor, espeshully when I am akskin Mom to wayk up an feed me, and also when she trims my nails although that will be much harderer.

Meantime, I am also goin to try to be a better snuggler at night and also in the morning after she has feeded me. Nothin says thankyu as much as snugglin an purrin. Huh.

Self-Improovmints

Musashi Sez:

Well, I hav been thinking that Mom an me boft need som self-improovmints, especially her. All I needs to work on is my vocabulaberry, an I have been borrowin Mom’s Cross Word Puzzulz fer halp wift that.  (Altho don’t aksk me why all them words is so cross’ maybe it’s cuz they are stuck in them littul boxes.)

Mom needs mor work. She has been workin on her cookin skills, although her fud alwaes smells perty awful, so I am assooming that she not veree gud at it, although she always seem happee, eetin all them froots an vejetabuls an cheez an erbs. Yuck.

I think she shud cleen her desks mor so I can walk ovr them mor easily an also she shud percastinayt less on halpin me wift mai blog, becuz it is easier wift her thin finger-toes to typ than it is fer me wift my dainty feets.

I am shur I will think of other waes we can improov ourselves this year. If yu has ideers, I am listening. By reading yer comments, because yu guyz nevr talk loud enugf fer me to hear by listening the regular way. Huh.

Mor Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I has ben havin mor times to think about my rezolooshunz. An I think that both Mom an me shud nap mor. I, of cours, have been actin on this thorgt immediately, but Mom is a littul bit behind on it.

Todae, I napped valyuntlee, whil Mom mostlee stayed awayk, if yu kin imaginate this. An she did not eevn work on her list of rezolooshunz, lik I did. She mostlee just watched Xena reruns, an also she repatraiatyted her glasses whut she had forgotted after kung fu on Sunday nigt.

Mai Noo Year’s Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Well I was goin to writ a brilliant blog but then I remembererd that I hads to writ my noo year’s rezolooshunz an som fer Mom too.  I figure that learning to ride a ponee will be up there on mai list and getting her to wayk up before I has to pat her nose a millyun times will be one fer her. If you has ideers fer us, we will take them. Thank yu, an Happee Noo Yeer!!!