Sunday, February 9, 2014

YU NOT GOIN TO BELEEV THIS!!!


Musashi Sez:

So I not eevn noe wher to start. Hmm. Now We Are Six wud be gud cuz we is, or at least, I ar.

But mor than that, yu all noe how hard I hav been campaigning fer a ponee of mai veree own so I kin practice ridin him so I kin go on to become a cowboy in the mooveez. An Mom allus sez NO. Huh.

Except that this time, she finallee wentid to a store that sell poneez!!! I not eevn noe that Brookline had sutch a thing. I thoughtid that she wud hav to go verree far awae, like Texas or Collarraddo or mebbe eevn West Virginia. But no.

Now I am not sayin it wentid the way I wud hav wanted it to, or eevn the wae she egspectid. She went in an talked to a whole bunch of ponees, incloodin a purple one whu had perty shiny perpul ribbons fer her mane and tale an also one whu looked like a giraffe wift a really short neck. And to each of these ponee folks, she sed, “Hullo. Wud yu lik to be mai kittee Musashi’s ponee? He wants help in becoming a cowboy kittee.”

An all of them sed the same thin: “Wait, Musashi is yer kittee? That feller wift the blog? And the reallee, reallee sharp CLAWS???”
“Um,” said Mom. “So yu has heard of him?” Which, it turn out was not the bestest answer if what we wer lookin fer was a ponee in the horsie family to com liv wift us an teach me cowboy stuffs.

But Mom is flexibobbul (problee from all that yoger latelee), so she luks around to see if there were anee peeples whu were mostly poneez but not so skittish. So she luks at the bunneez (but we gots three (3) bunnee types here an onlee one (1) typewriter, so she figgered another bunnee wud not work). An she talked to the lion person, but he seemed wae too innerested in how many bunneez lived wift us, which also not seem so gud.

Then she talked to a couple of differint elerphants (one was dark bloo an the other was ligt bloo; I figger one was from Indier an the other was from Afriker, although I kin never rememberrer which is which). All of them seemed nice but near-sigted, an not likely to want to charge into a gunfigt at the Alrigt Corral.

Finalee, she say sadlee, “Doesn’t aneebodee want to get adopted an com be mai kittee’s ponee? He’s akshullee qwite nice most of the time.”

An just as she was draggin herself out of the store, a big low voice sed, “I’m not afraid of kittee claws. I am quite tougf akshullee, an also I hav alwaes wanted to be a cowboy.”

Wull, Mom turned around an there was this big Rhinocerosaucerous, wift a real live horn on his nose! An he was corduroy, which we are also boft qwite fond of in our blankies an clotheses an peeples. 

An she say cautiously, "Um, what yu eat, if yu don't mind my askskin, an also how mutch of it? Cuz we are on a limited budjit."

An he soun verree sad then, an he sez, "Oh, that not gud. I eats Firstest Drafts of Writin. I prefer handrigtin. I kin digest the typed kind, but then I has to hav a mint to make it go down properlee."
 
An Mom nearly shout wift joy, cuz if there one thing we gots more of than pens that don't work an poops, it hafta be our Firstsest Drafts. She write hers in pen an marker an I perfer to yooz crayons (speshullee purpul). But she is cayrful by naytchur, so she asksk, "Does yu has a fayvoritest snack?"

An he say shyly, "Wull, I like to has a few bloo-berries now an then to keep my pertee powdr bloo color up, and I nom on boot noodles when I kin get them, so mai teeft stays healthee."

"Huh," sez Mom to hersalf. "This soun too good to be troo." So she asksk him (out loud, so he kin hear her), "Are yu afraid of anythin I shud noe about? Plumbers? Vacuums? Lightning?"

"Wull," he says slowly, "I not fond of fire, cuz it make me want to run an stamp it out, altho the laydee who own this stor has ben explainin to me about the 'gas stofe' and how yoosful it kin be. I not like it, but I kin manidge mai instinkt to put the fire out if it bloo. I like bloo."

So this is the guy whu yoozed to be named Roy, but he akssked to be called Rex instead. He has come to liv wift us an be mai ponee, although I am still a little nervuss around him, on account of the horn. But he seem pertee happy to have been adopted (an I certainlee unnerstand that!). Mom sez that the whol point is that he has much thickerer skin than the other poneez, and that will be helpful in the days to com.

So I kinder has a ponee! Finlee! After all theez years!

1 comment:

PJS said...

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
by Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my love,

And we will all the pleasures prove

That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,

Woods or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,

Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,

By shallow rivers to whose falls

Melodious birds sing madrigals.


The Passionate Musashi to His Rhino
By Pamler

Come live with me and be my ponee
And we will eat all the macaroni
Or boot noodles that Mom Sue can make
And all the firstest drafts we can take.

And we will sit upon the bed,
Seeing Sue sigh and bang her head
Upon the desk when writing gets tough
And remind her why they call drafts “rough.”