So yesterdae, Mom was singin an dancing in the kitchen, like “Yu Mayks Me Feel like Dancin” or lik “It’s Rainin Men!!!” (an that lastest one is kinda straynge, cuz I not ever see mens bein rained on the sidewalk, anee more than I has seen it rainin cats an dogs).
But this dansin thing is verree odd. Mom sez she got her ninja dans skills from her dad, whu is so gud, he kin slide a invisible top hat from one arm to the other!!! Mom can’t do that, although she kin do some impressive stuffs wift a canvas fedora, which are a kind of hat, moslee worn by cool peeples, lik spies.
Anywho, I askesed mom, “So now that this have come up, I hasta asks yu: whu do I wish a happee father’s dae? Cuz I has not stricktly speeking gots a father. I has gots a AWESOME granpa who is a souftpaw like me. I also gots a onkul whu is the dad of mai former roommate, mai cozzin Rachel, an apparently also mai cozzin Becka, although she is from a diffrint litter. An then there is mai Onkul Josh whu taykes care of me when Mom has to travel, an he has 2 daugters whu are cats like me.
So this Father Holrdae thing is a mistree to me. But if I hads a pocket fer monee, an if I hads monee in mai hyperthetical pocket, I wud totallee buy all of yu guyz Happy Father’s Day Cards.