Saturday, January 30, 2010
Mom’s Waystcot an Mai Birftdae!!!
Thangk yu to all of yu foks whu donaytid tim an/or monee to halp the por kitteez an doggeez an othr aminalz in Haiti. If yu has not yet sent som of yer pockit monee to halp teh aminal peeples in erthqwayk-struck Haiti (whu has not eevn got pockits, mutch less monee, if yu kin imajin it!), ther is still tim!!! If yu dozn't want to go thru Googul or one of them yoosful sitz, yu kin halp direktlee thru the Humayn Sosietee (www.humanesociety.org) or a mor innernashunnul sit like www.ifaw.org, the innernashunnul federayshun of aminal welfayr. Do it now! Reed mai blog when yu comz bak!
La la la. Hmm, hmmmmm, hmty hmty hmm. La. Lalalal. Purrrrrrr.
Okay. So. Yu bak now? Exsullunt!!!
So I wuz jus watchin mai Mom as she wuz surfin the innerwebs, cuz it is alwaez innerestin to watch the flikkerin on that screen. An the moussee blinkr is reellee grayt!!!
Anneewae, mom jus bogt herself a vest, which is a fayrlee borin werd, an I told her so, an she sed that her buddeez (in a lineage/literaree senz) Mistr Tolkin an Mistr Looiss wud hav calld her vest a “waystcot” or somthin lik that. An I'm thingkin they migt hav approovd of her choys of fur/pattern/colr, cuz she choozd a "clan tartan" that is lik if yer grandma wuz callico, yu chooziz a callico waystcot to wer so yu looks lik her.
I lernd about "tartan" last week-end. We watchd a moovie that wuz a "spoof" an that meenz it wuz maykin fun of anothr moovie. This one wuz Casino Royale, an that's the saym naym as two othr moovies that are seeryus. But I likd this one bettrer, cuz it had Scottish pipers an coyboyz an Indians an a Spayship Flyin Saucer an a French Forren Leejyunayr. An som othr stuff, lik nookleer bomz an Eest Berlin. But whut I most notisst wuz them Scottish gyz cuz they wer werrin skirts and beetin fokz up an also maykin funnee noyzis wift their "bag Pyps." An mom wuz lookin at wastcots that wer lik theez gyz's skirts.
Yu cudn't call somthin lik that a "vest." Huh. This "waystcot" sounz much mor egspensiv to me. An also lik ther wud be mor “wool” in it. (Mom has toldid me about sheeps. I wuz veree impresst. It maydid me thingk that I shud charj her fer all that fur she brushiz outa me. She sez that she givz the furballz to her frendz whu is havin trubblz wift akshul mousseez,* like Jeff an Jennr. But I keep thingkin that, at, say, 25 cents per furball, I cud mayk almos a whol dollr a week!!! So in a monft or two or three, I cud be ritch! In a yeer, I cud be “rollin!”)
An then I cud buy my mom a whol buntch of veststs (or, possiblul, waystcots).
An this is mai big unconnektid "seg-way."
Watch this spays fer infrmayshun about my Big Sekund Birftdae Selebrayshun!!! Cuz eevn if yu is not comin to the partee, yu wul want to be abl to vot fer the kinda cupcayk we has, an mebbe dekerayshunz, an lik that!!!
Yu dozn't thingk I kin do this all by maiself, do yu?
*Akshul mousseez is diffrint from catnip mousseez. Akshul mousseez run aroun eevn when yer mom isn't hom wift yu!!! An they somtimz eets yer noms! They are reellee bad! That's why we all praktis on them catnip mousseez: so that when the akshul onez com, we ar reddee to pouns! their bums! Huh!