The Fansee Scroll Toob

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Musashi Sez:

Wull, we lostid contact wift Mr. Tygr ther cuz of bein out on the othr side of the planet fer a whil, but when we got back, he was ther waytin fer us in a littul silver buggy wift a doggee dryvin it. It turn out that the doggee wasn’t Snoopy (cuz I noe yu wer thinking that), but another feller naymed Duncan, whu was the Chef on the Nautilus an Mr. Tyrgr’s new best friend. He had to go buy provizhunz fer the Nautilus and agreed to sneak Mr. Tygr back here to the spaceship Spontaneity.

Then mai Mom an Kaylee jumpt down to grab hiz arms an sayv him an bring him on board. We grabbed him. This wuz a big, big surpryz, fer boft him and us.

Mr. Tygr Sez: Wayt! Wayt! I…gots…the dock-yu-mint!

(He waves around a gold toob.)

Musashi Sez (taykin the toob): Huh! In onlee daez, yu managed to identify, locate an aqwire them naymin rigts to that ther sno-storm that shud has ben naymed Musashi.

Kaylee Sez: Open it! Open it!

Musashi Sez: Um, I not got the disposabul thumz. Mom?

MomSue Sez: Okay…here is me unscrewin the toob. An takin out the rolled up paper. An unrollin it…

Duncan Sez: What does it say?

Mr. Tygr: Um, weren’t yu sposed to go back to the Nautilus?

Mom: Um, you’re not goin to lik this… It sae that the bearer of this certifrkit has ben “helpful wiftout being aksked.” An the naym is Mr. Ahab Nemo.

Kaylee: Wull, that don’t mayke no kinda sens!

Mr. Tygr Reportz

Musashi Sez:

We watched Mr. Tygr’s parashoot until it disappeared down there jus outside of Mumbai. We dint heer from him fer a reellee long tim. Mom an Kaylee were pacin bak an forth. I tuk a nap. See, I’ve known Mr. Tyrgr ALL MY LIF, an he is mai wrasslin coach an my frend, so I got 1000% confidens in him. When I wok up, I gave maiself a baft, because hygeen is eevn mor importint on a small spaceship than it is in a partimint. Then I went to the radio, jus in tim to pick up Mr. Tygr’s first report.

Mr. Tygr Sez:

Big Dog, this is Marc Anthony, over. I have slipped onto the target an luck is wift me. The whol crew is watchin the Oscars on this verree impressive flat-screen TV they got heer on this ship, which I gotta say is mutch fansee-er than ours is. Huh.

I has slipped down the corridor to wher the invisibul door is hidin in the bulkhead an I am workin my Bobby pins to get the lock open. Will mayk contact again when I has gotten inside. Over.

Musashi Sez:

He calls it luck. I calls it being Mr. Tygr. So there.

Calibraytin the Chairship’s Meckanisms

Musashi Sez:

So I werked all dae yestrdae (aftr brekfist, I meen) on finishin mai ship so I kin go catch that Captin Nemo gy whu stol the naymin rigts to mai blizzard. I got the originul design from mai frend Opus the Penguin, who has spent lotsa tim as the science offiser on a ship jus like it. He eevn brogtid over spayr parts from the verree old Beta Verzhun fer me to put together wift Mom’s green armchair, an we are testing the engine to mayk shur it werks well enugf.

The chair has got three levelz. Mom is goin to serv as the pilot, on the second level (wher the steerin meckanism is), an I am goin to be the captin, on the top level, wher I kin see ovr her head. When things brayk, our frend Kaylee, the meckanic, will go unnerneath, wher the fansee engine is, cuz she is verree gud wift masheenz, an she will be able to fix it.

Yu wud be verree impressed wift the engine. It has got bells an eevn wissulz. It has a uppydowny, a flux capacitor, a bobbinator, a flounce attachment, an eevn a spinny thing! It is trooly a thing of wonder. I not sure just egzactly whut a cryhole is, or a arc reactor, but parintlee, it got those things too. Don't asks me, I is just the captin.

All we has to do now is put lots of toona in the kitchin an get the fuel it needs so that the spinnything spins an the bobbinator bobbinates. I maydid shur that we were not yoozin fossil fuels, cuz Mom wudn't lik that and Kaylee wudn't eevn noe whut to do wift them since she is from 500 yeerz in the fyootchr. (But she is young fer her ayj, so it not lik she'll be fallin asleep all the tim. Huh. She'd better not! That MY job.)

Perty soon, we’ll be abul to cast off an chays that annoyin Nemo fellr: Zoom! Zish! The Firefly class ship Spontaneity, ready fer akshun, wift ME, the heroic captin!

But Mom sez I am not allowed to call her mai byootiful assistint. Oh well, yu can’t has evrythin.