Shaykin, Not Bein Stirrd

So I ben thingkin lots about bein a innernashunull fynanseer or possibul a spy. Mai frend Pamaler sed she thingk I’d “probably be a good spy, as long as you don't fall asleep on the job.” Huh. As if I wud.

An aneewae, I ben seein thoz Jaymz Bond mooveez, an he spend lotsa tim in bed. So cleerlee, that not somthin that kin keep yu from bein a reellee gud spy. Espeshul cuz hoomin peeples see kittee peeples sleepin an they thingks that we arn’t payin attenshun. But is eezee to keeps 1 eye opn from tym to tym to keep trak of, fer instins, bad gyz.

An eevn if hoomin peeples (or eevn doggee peeples) run past us, they nevr egspekt us to notiss them. Huh. Stoopid peeples.

I ben praktissin mai spyin skilz in the windo all yeer. I kin tell yu all about Bob the Maylman, an the foks acros street whu has doggeez, an the funnee “joggerz” an lik that.

So wen I fill out applikayshun fer MI5, they goin to be all ovr me. I be “008” in no tym.

Mor Thogts on Mai Perfeshun

Musashi Sez:

So, I ben aksksin mai mom if I kin hav a ponee so I kin praktis mai rydin fer mai nu kareer as kittee herder, an then mai sekund kareer as a cowboy moovee star, but she sez that poneez is reel ekspensiv, eevn mor ekspensiv than kitteez, cuz they needs oats an hay an fansee metul shooz an speshul persnal traynrz to teetch them to run around in cirkulz correkt. An sombuddee, probabl sombuddee wift thumz, needz to shovl out theyr poop, an they poop lotz mor eevn than me an her combind!!! An altho mom shovl myn out fer free (cuz she lov me), hyrin hoomin peeples fer shovlin ponee poop cost a lotta monnee. Huh.

So okay. Plan B (that meen sekkund plan, fer all yu kittees whu dont noe yer ABCz yet). Sins poneez to praktis rydin an herdin kittees wift ar so ekspensiv, I ben tryin to figger mai othr assts. The mos yoosful 1 I kin see iz mai fur. See, not lik som kittees, whu dressiz in tweed or strypeez, I allus dressiz in tukseedo. I got whyt ty an whyt cucumberbun. That mayk me classee kittee an set me up up fer som veree re-myoonerativ kareerz.

I tell yu how I lern this. See, this las week mai mom ben reedin Nobul Hous, a novul about the littul iyland call Hongkong. I ben sleepin on her book, but is verree thik, so is not so eezee to follo. Lucky, mom haz the Netflik, so we ar also watchin the moovee, an it hav Peers Brosnin, whu mom sez is kyuut, so she watch it verree cayrful.

In this moovee, lotsa gyz weyr the tukseedo, jus lik me. I aksks mom, What theyr job that they weyr the tukseedo?

She sez, wull, som is Inner-nashunull Fynanseers, wift lotsa monee flyin around. An som is spyz.

Huh, sez I. Yu dont say…