Wull, I noe that it has been a while since I writed, but partly that is because I has had to do MATH, an although Mom is usually verree helpful wift mai projects, she is not so sharp wift the math. So I has gots lotsa numbers from all three of yu reader type peoples (an I can tell you rigt off, yer all just as weird as Mom is. Huh.) an I has been tryin to tabyoolayte all of them numbers. This is kinda hard, cuz apparently there is lotsa ways to look at “data” lik this, yu noe, like up an down or sideways. Also, I keeps tryin to count all them numbers, but this is not so easy when yu has paws. I always start wift my front paws and then move onto my back paws, except when I suddenly needs to lick mai knees, an than all bets is off.
This wud not be a problem if I had the kinds of paws Mom has, that all has the same number of toes, regardless of where she keeps them, but as a kittee, I has five toes on each of my front paws an only four on the back. So any time I has to count more than three things, I get confuzzled, an yu wud too.
I wondered if part of my problem was that I am a Tuxedo Kittee rather than a Tabby Kittee. Maybe I shud try tuxeedyoolayin instead of tabyoolaytin. But Mom sez that probable wudn’t help much because the toes thing wudn’t change.
About the best I kin tell yu is that yu folks all seem to be scary fond of carrots an bursels spouts. I not noe why. I mean, think about it. Ther yu is, prowling across the grassy savannah, pausing in yer tracks when yu think yer prey migt hear yu comin. Yu is stealthy an yu is wearin camouflage (an also sun-screen, cause yu is humin), yer creepin up, slowly, slowly, and then WHAM!
You POUNCE. On a helpless bursel spout.
Yep, yu are a migty hunter. I am verree impressed. Huh.