Tuesday, December 27, 2011

We Gits Cultchurd

Musashi Sez:

Wull, mai mom just caym bak from a verree fansee plays calld a Opra Hous, which had all kindsa gold on the walls an the ceiling, an also som paintings of laydeez in their nigtshirts on the ceiling too. She wuz not ther to see a opra, however, but whut she did see wuz almost as high up ther on the Cultchrul Continuumnumum. It is called ballay, but because it is Frentch, they spelz it ballet. Thos Frentch folks spelz funnee, but becuz they are way mor cultchrul then us Merikanz, we has to puts up wift it.

The Ballet she saw wuz calld The Nutcrackr. It is a verree straynj storee. See this little girl naymd Cora or Clara or Cathee or somthin is at a Christmus partee an her majik onkul gives her a soldjer doll whu can brayk nuts in his teeft. She is so impressd by this skill that she falls asleep unner this funnee tree wift ligts in it. Then a buntcha micez com and wayk her up an mayk fun of her an challinj her to a duel. But she not old enugf to duel yet, so the soldjer doll becomz reel so he kin figt fer her. A clown doll serve as his sekund. Ther a big swrd figt.

(Fer thoz of yu whu is connasoorz, the mice king yooz a simitar an the soldjer doll yoos a straigt sword. An sinse this play wuz writid in 1892, that tell yu all yu need to know about whu win that figt. Huh.)

That’s the whol egsytin part, but the play keep goin wift all these faireez an Unitid Nayshunz delegits dansin around becuz they ar so impressed wift the soldjer. This problee one of them meddafors.

I wuzn’t too impresst to heer about this, but Mom insist it verree cultchurul, an she say that them dansrz whu play all the parts are lik Olimpic athletes in how they has to work out to be strong enough to dans around and leap! an spin! an pik eetch othr up!

So I think I’m goin to try bein a Ballard fer a whil. That whut Mom say is the gy-version of a ballerina, which is the gurl-version, parentlee. The gyz not gotta wear tutuz, which I thingk is a good thin, reellee, cuz it is hard enugf to leap! ovr mai box wift just all my legz to worree about. Havin a tutu wud jus mayk evrthin mutch too diffrcult.

1 comment:

Pamela said...

Not to mention your tail. Your tutu would require a tail-hole.