Hullo! We is doin the celeberty thing where we innerviews somebody kinda famous and/or inneresting. Todae we has a speshul guest name of Robin Bucaria. She went to school wift my mom at Middlebury College, where she majored in bein really smart an minored in ski-ing down the stairs (but only in winter).
Me: Who does you likes betterer, kittees or doggees?
Her: Kitteez. Because kitteses is independent creatures and doggeez drool.
Me: Whut do you do fer a livin?
Her: I warp young minds.
Me: How you does that?
Her: Teaching Inglush. The minds aren’t used to thinking, so by getting them to think is a very mind-warpin experience.
Me: Has you any hobbies?
Her: Skiing. On snow, not stairs now. An attemptin to garden. For a while I had an escargot farm.
Me: Now, we’ve heard about escargots, an they are handsome young snails whu takes out fancy ladies on dates…
Her: Nope. Escargots are snails that eat your garden. But if you clean out their digestive tracts, you kin eat them.
Me: I thogt they were fancee gys.
Me: Let’s talk about that skiin stuffs. I has the impreshun that yu yoozed to ski down the stairs in collidge.
Her: Just once.
Me: Tell us about that wunce, please.
Her: It was veree frustratin, cuz freshmen stepped on the bak of my skis, and slowd me down!!
Me: I veree sorree to hear this. Whut didju do about that?
Her: I aksksed them to let me go and FLUNG myself down the stairs.
Me: An did that worked?
Her: It did, but they slowed down my time.
Me: So you wudov won otherwise?
Her: No. There was another real Olympic skier in training on the stairs, and he was really gud.
Me: Mom sez that yu teatch writin, like she does. How you does that?
Her: You model, you make ‘em revise, you model, you make ‘em revise again, an then yu conference.
ME: An that work?
Me: Kin yu think of somthin brilliant fer us to end wift?
Her: Oh no!
Me: Does you eat pi? Does you makes pi?
Her: Yus. Blooberry. Salmonberry—
Me: Do that taste like fish?
Her: Nope. They look like salmon roe or like orange raspberries.
Me: Is this onlee in Laska?
Her: Mebbe. Apple. O! This is whut I was sposed to buy here—MacIntosh apples.
Me: Does yu gets them at the Apple Store?
Her: No. At the grocery store. I also make a caramel custard pie.
Me: What’s that like?
Her: It like a crème brulee except more creamy.
Me: Does it have fish in it?
Her: No. I don’t do fish pie, but I was tempted to try the lobster pie at lunch today but it was too big.
Me: We shud has been wift you an then we all wud has been happiererer.