Christmas Playin

Musashi Sez:

Well, wift most of the partmint to ourselfs todae, Mister Tyger an me has ben playin! We chased each other unner the table and chayrs fer a whil, til we got dizzy. Then we tried to do one of Mom's Cross Word Puzzuls. We gottid "a rat" first, an then "eggsanham"an then "tulipinthevalee" an we thort we had "ottrman" but it didn't fit. So we gived up an looked fer our Christmas prezents from Mom unner the bookcase, but mai arms aren't long enugf an Mister Tygers' are eevn shorterer, so we didn't find any.

Then we played pirate unner the coutch fer a while and shiverd some timbers an sang songs an danced around and took turns sending each othr to walk the plank (cuz taking turns is polite). But then we gottid tired so we took a nap on mai pink rug.

I'm thinkin that aftr we gets up from our nap I will find one of Mom's cookin books an we can learn to make pie. I will make one of them "shells" an dump mai toonr in it an wrap it up and cook it. I'm not shur if the microwaviater will work or whethr we will have to get Anna to help us, cuz we're not allowed to yooz the stove an I can't reach the toaster ovven on top of the erfidgiator.

It should be a gud time!

This Whol Christmas Eev Thin

Musashi Sez:

Well, this is the seazon when Mom go orf to her spa retreet in the south, way down in Connedikut, which is not quite so far as Texus, but very posh. She eats all sorts of stuff, INCLOODIN PIE, (huh, she nevr mayk ME pie), an I stay hom here an meditayte on the meening of the Solstice, an whut kindsa stuffs Ceilin Cat wud like me to do next yeer, lik taykin over the werld, lernin to ride a ponee and losin a pound, whatevr that is. Also, writin my memwars, which I think meens a essay about how I praktices figtin an wrasslin wift Mister Tyger so I can take on burglergs in cays they evr trai to steal mom's books an my mousies.

An as me an Mister Tyger watch the snow comin gently down on the neigbers' cars an hear their melodic groans an the scrape of their big snow spoons, I think about new starts, the big shiny present of the turnin yeer. (This, Mom claims, is why we dance in circuls on Solstice.)

So sins I noe that lotsa yu Gentle Reeder folks foller that Baby Jesus kitty who got borned recently 200 yeerz ago, or maybe 2000, but tomorrer--

ANYWAY, what I meen to say is Merry Solstice, an Happy Christmas an Joyous Boxing Day from me an Mister Tyger, an problee Mom too.

Som Christmus Carulz

Musashi Sez:

 

Wull, I has been workin verree hard to translayt one of them standard Christmas carols to a noo kitteh carol which yu all will reallee like. I thogtid to use that one from the 1950s-60s about dancing around a Christmas tree. This is what I camed up wift first.

Rocketing around the Christmas wreath

On the big, white livin room door.

It’s got red and gold ornamints

I think Mom shud put on more.

But then I gots stuckt. So I listened to the orijinul again and I tried this:

You will get exilerating feelins

When you see

Kittee racing round the table:

Grab a cookie if you’re able.

And then it gots hard an I hads to put on mai thinking cap, except that I not has one, an anyway, I wanted one of them Santy Claws hats wift them tantilizin pompoms, but the closest thing Mom had was a red gambler hat.

So I weared that fer a while an then I camed up wift this:

 

Rocketing around the Christmas wreath,

Has a happee holidae.

Everyboddy dansin merrilee

In the noo an feline way!!!

The Joyz of Wintr: A Seazonul Carol

Musashi Singz:

Boot noodles; cuddling

Wift newly washed hankies;

More time to sleep in wift Mom

Unner blankies;

Lookin down from mai perch

On Mom’s vejtabul bins:

This is mai list of the best wintr things!

Neighbors wift shovels

Are gud ennertainment;

Rewritin carols

So they makes more brain-sense;

Having them parties

Wift fambly and friends:

This is mai list of mai best wintr things!

When the sky’s dark,

When mai toys hide,

When the litter’s old:

I just sings mai list of mai best wintr things

An then I not feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel

So cold!

Happy St. Raggedy Andy Dae, among lotsa other things

Musashi Sez:

Happee Saint Raggedy Andy Day! (an why is his piktchoor not wearin a fansee kilt?)

Wull, since we had the very timely vizit of Robin Bucaria, BA, MEd, JD, lotsa stuffs have been happening. Fer example, all the girls packed up  (wift very upsetting luggages) and wented away fer Thanksgiving. This was what yu callz a mixed blessin, becuz I didn’t hav Mom’s knee to sleep on (which is always a littul tramatic), but on the othr hand, I not have her buggin me to plae wift the lazer pointer the way she always does wen I am sittin thinking hard about mai blog. As yu noe, I has had all kindsa trouble wift the Writer Block this semestr, but this week I has overcomed it a littul bit.

Fer example, while Mom was gone, they gived me a littul too much of the wet fud, and you migt think, “Huh, it bad to waste fud when yu noe he’s not goin to eat it all,” and normally I wud have agreed, but after I eated what I wanted, the rest of it looked like that fansee ceilin in the Vatican Myoozeum, called the Sisteen Chapul, wift the piktchur by that guy Mikul Angelo, of Ceiling Cat reaching down to high five Eve Kittee fer not getting bit by that nasty snake feller.

Also, I was lookin at the steampunky toys Mom supported on Kickstarter (cuz she seds that her office at werk was just Not Cool Enugf (NCE) fer her an her frend whu she share it wift, ArTeeBee, who she swear is not a droid, but I think she have been fooled, but anway, parently they are boft way too cool fer this borin office, so she supported these toys on Kickstarter), and I was lookin at the toys, who has their own Facebook page, and it turn out that the unner-water guy has a version of his unner-water suit that is brigt pink! Wull, as yu kin imajinate, that made me innerested in unner-water adventchoors, since before that, I din’t know that yu cud has a fashonobbul wet-soot fer resertch. I thogt yu had to be all stodgy, but parently, that not the case. Three cheers fer Fashonobbul Resertch!!

Hip! Horray Hooray! Hip Hooray Horray! Hip Hooray Hooray!

Ahem. An THEN, as if life weren’t getting egsiting enugf, Mom camed home!!!! An she brogtid Granpa wift her!!!! An he is a lefty lik ME!!! (He call me the “Big M”—Mom always call me Littul Gy, an I has to tell here NO, I is a very BIG GY!!!! Huh.)

An Mom came home wift a NOO Tooftbrush! Now, I not lik tooftbrushiz maisalf, which make mom has a frustrate, but she showed me the one fer the winter. It was bloo an purpul. I said I liked the bloo an bright PINK one betterer, but she sed (very reasonably), “Silly Musashi. That the one fer Spring. It’s like how we doesn’t wear white feet in winter. We not yooz pink tooftbrushes in winter. It wud be day-class-ay.”

An I not egzactly noe what that mean, but her argyooment seemed quite lojikul, so I am goin wift it. I shorely has a lot to learn about stuffs.

Wull, there are more, but if I stop now, I might have stuffs to write about in a couple of days (after I has sniffed her luggage and made up my mind about the stuffs she bringed back from Conn Edigut.).

Innerviewin a Fascinatin Peoples

 Musashi Sez:

Hullo! We is doin the celeberty thing where we innerviews somebody kinda famous and/or inneresting. Todae we has a speshul guest name of Robin Bucaria. She went to school wift my mom at Middlebury College, where she majored in bein really smart an minored in ski-ing down the stairs (but only in winter).

Me: Who does you likes betterer, kittees or doggees?

Her: Kitteez. Because kitteses is independent creatures and doggeez drool.

Me: Whut do you do fer a livin?

Her: I warp young minds.

Me: How you does that?

Her: Teaching Inglush. The minds aren’t used to thinking, so by getting them to think is a very mind-warpin experience.

Me: Has you any hobbies?

Her: Skiing. On snow, not stairs now. An attemptin to garden. For a while I had an escargot farm.

Me: Now, we’ve heard about escargots, an they are handsome young snails whu takes out fancy ladies on dates…

Her: Nope. Escargots are snails that eat your garden. But if you clean out their digestive tracts, you kin eat them.

Me: I thogt they were fancee gys.

Her: No, they’re espensive foods in the fansee Frentch restaurants.

Me: Let’s talk about that skiin stuffs. I has the impreshun that yu yoozed to ski down the stairs in collidge.

Her: Just once.

Me: Tell us about that wunce, please.

Her: It was veree frustratin, cuz freshmen stepped on the bak of my skis, and slowd me down!!

Me: I veree sorree to hear this. Whut didju do about that?

Her: I aksksed them to let me go and FLUNG myself down the stairs.

Me: An did that worked?

Her: It did, but they slowed down my time.

Me: So you wudov won otherwise?

Her: No. There was another real Olympic skier in training on the stairs, and he was really gud.

Me: Mom sez that yu teatch writin, like she does. How you does that?

Her: You model, you make ‘em revise, you model, you make ‘em revise again, an then yu conference.

ME: An that work?

Her: Sometimes.

Me: Kin yu think of somthin brilliant fer us to end wift?

Her: Oh no!

Me: Does you eat pi? Does you makes pi?

Her: Yus. Blooberry. Salmonberry—

Me: Do that taste like fish?

Her: Nope. They look like salmon roe or like orange raspberries.

Me: Is this onlee in Laska?

Her: Mebbe. Apple. O! This is whut I was sposed to buy here—MacIntosh apples.

Me: Does yu gets them at the Apple Store?

Her: No. At the grocery store. I also make a caramel custard pie.

Me: What’s that like?

Her: It like a crème brulee except more creamy.

Me: Does it have fish in it?

Her: No. I don’t do fish pie, but I was tempted to try the lobster pie at lunch today but it was too big.

Me: We shud has been wift you an then we all wud has been happiererer.

Whu I Was fer Hallerween!

Musashi Sez:

So I knoe that yu guyz all think of me lik that Jim Bond feller, because of my genetic tuxedo look, but this Hallerween I deciderated to go as this cool piano-playin guy named Liberatchee. Mom has borrowed a small keyboard from her teetcher an I has been learnin to play it, although fer some reason, when Mom is not around, it not mayk sounds when I hit the keys wift mai pawz. I has not figgered this out yet.

But being a sparkly piano-playin feller is one of mai career idears, jus like being a akshul spy or possible, a cowboy whu ride around on a big pony shootin bad guys. If you has other idears fer me, pleez let me knoe. Thanks. Huh.