LEAP! Day!

Musashi Sez:

So aftr mai short foray into fikshun over the summer, I has deciderayted to consintrayt on my strengfts: joornulizm, tellin it lik it akshully is. I was goin to do this yestrdae, but I spent so much time LEAPING!!! everwher that I not had time to akshully writ about the LEAPING!!!

See, Mom tolded me about the calender, which is the big flappy thing on the wall in the baftroom wift all the piktchurs of her college on it. Turns out, fer some reason she cudn't explayn too gud, every four years, they adds a day to the calender, and we gets an extra dae fer exercizin. So we played wift the BRAND NOO LAZR POINTR!!! An I was LEAPIN an runnin aroun like a crazypants persin!!!

An then I hads to nap, cuz I was tierd. i am pretty shur that if you missed yer chance yestrdae, you cul probably spend som time tomorrer LEAPIN! It is gud fer yu.

When the Cold Gets Colderer

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 Musashi Sez:

We  tried to send this one out last night, but there wuz whut mom called a Snffoo. Parently, that meenz technologee is actin up again, as usual.

So yesterdae, Mom an me wer werkin wift a apartmint that had heat whut she calls “innermittenly.” You migt think this means that the heat onlee werked from yer rigt front mitten to yer left, an yu wud not be entirelee rong. So she typed a lot whil I ran laps around the apartmint. (I wud hav worn her werkout soot, but it onlee hav 2 legs an they wer boft wae too long fer me.)

Layter, she went to “Werk Out At the Jim (WOAJ)” an she sed she got almost fiftee minits, but laytlee there has not been lots of tylet papr or towlz in the laydeez part of the jim. She says she thinks it is becuz of Girl Noo Yeer Rezolutionaries, of who there are more than thre are Girl Staff. But she says that by Febrooaree or March, that will work out when folks looz their rezolootness.

Meanwhil, our apartmint was cold an less-cold all day, until evening, when it got positively TOOCOLD. This not just a problim fer me an mom. Oh no. We also has the parental units of our Russhian roommate visitin from Moskow. So this a big problim, cuz of course, they not used to the verree cold wehter. Huh.

An then there were the communikayshunz problims, cuz mom onlee knows how to say “No. Plese. Thankque. Hello. Cheers.” and mebbee “Goodbye, Comrade” in Russian. An the parental units only knoes how to say, “Good Mornink. Thenkyu. Cold. Temperatura. Sick. Inglish bad.”

Which are to sae that they wer communicatin at the verree samest level. An that level not hav aneethin, words or fhrazis, like whut wud halp them communicate things like, fer egsample:

Them: The radiator isn’t working. It is very cold.

Mom: The landlord knows the radiator isn’t working. They will call me. Here is an extra blanket.

Them: Oh no. Do not give us your only blanket.

Mom: It is extra. For emergency. And the landlord will call me back.

It went on like that fer a while. But it turn out that if yu can show folks three extra blankets, an point wift yer toes to them an yu an then yooz Google Translator an prints the weird Cyriclic letters out, you kin commyoonikates just fin.

Also, it halps if maintenance eventchoolee calls an says that the oil feed thing wuz clogged, which explains the on-again, off-again, an now is fixed.

The we kin all sleeps warm, wiftout all the egstra blankits! Huh.

Spring Egzersizmint

Musashi Sez:

Wull, this week has ben the Ferts Dae of Spring, wift all them flowrz and birdeez an the noo "warm" thin lik what we did last yeer. Mom has the crankee about the warm cuz she sez them icy glayshrz ar meltin verree fast. I purrz loud to gets her mind orf it, an if that not werk, I run! verree fast! across the partmint! Somtim she chays me, so that boft givz her lotsa helthee egzersizement an also get her mind orf bad things.

Don't yu wish I livd wift yu?

Admitlee, ther is the Depooprayshun that mom has to do fer me, but hey, that's egzersizmint too--Deep Nee Benz, or mebbee The Benz, I fergits. Also, ther is the yogr postchur mom does when she clip mai toenailz, lik she wrap one leg aroun me an holds me wift one hand whil she yooz the Eevl Clipprz of Deth wift the othr one. It not egzactly a half Nelson, more like a three-quartr Nelson.

The byootee of all this egzersizmint, eevn the noying kind wher my toenailz (WHICH WER PERFICTLY FIN BEFOR!!!) gets shortr, is that Mom fergits about globular climit chaynj an somtimz remembrers to givs me a treet fer eetch foot. An yu noe, evrdae we gettin stronger an mor smartypants an mor redier for the Lympics.

Musashi: Theesis Coatch Extrordinarlee

Musashi Sez:

So mai mom is writin her theesis, wich ar a reellee big paypr wift argyoomints in it. Hers is moslee about good ol’ Noah, whu we reellee liks, an also som big ol ship naymed “Reelee Big Ship,” whut sinkd 100 yeerz ago. It is verree faymus, eevn tho I had not heard of it befor. Parintlee, they has eevn mayd mooveez about it. Huh.

But eevn tho mai mom has writid theeseez (this the ploorul of theesis, go figgr) befor—2 of them eevn—this one is givin her the crayzeez. Seems lik her othr onez wuz fikshun storeez, verree long. This one she can’t jus mayk up, an it onlee 50 payjiz, which is lik about 2.7777 timz all mai set of toez.

Now if ther one thin I has lernd about writin this heer blog, it is eezier to writ somthin long than somthin short, moslee cuz if yu writs short, peeples payz attenshun to the whol darn thin an all its deetaylz. If yu writs long, they just skims an yu kin gets awae wift, fer instins, creativ spellin an grammr.

So mai mom is jus suffrin. It tookt her 9 hours to writ 3 and a haf payjiz, which isn’t eevn one back paw! So I reelizd that it wuz mai dootee to halp her.

Don’t git me rong. I ben halpin all along, yu noe, sittin between her an the kapyutr skreen to mayk shur them radeeayshun wayvs doezn’t overwelm her. But it was tim to tayk mai gaym to a whol noo bottul of gummeewerms! Yus.

Now mai mom somtimz giv talks about writin yer theesis or dissertayshun (which iz the dance verzhun of the theesis). I has sleepd on her notcards, so I noe all the thins yu has to do. I tell yu her roolz an how I halpd her.

1) Stay Wadderaytid. Evrytim I went into the bedrum where she wuz typin, I drinkd out of my wadder fountain, cuz it jus lik yawnin and stretchin. If one persin does it, evrboddee start doin it.

2) Stay Egzersized. This was fun, cuz I got to be spy-lik AN athletik. Ther she’d be, sittin at the kapyutr, wift her bak to the dor an I’d com runnin! in an jump up behind her an smak her on the bak of the hed. (It not eezee to get a typin-peeple’s attenshun. Yu gots to put in the effert.) Then she say, “Huh. Musashi! Yu rigt. We needz to plae.” An then she’d chays me out of the rum an play sokkr wift me.

3) Rembember that Writin is Hard. I gets on the desk an I murmurz into her mouft, “It not eezee bein brillyunt writrz lik we is. But we suffrs fer our art, yus?” An of cors, she agree wift me.

4) Keep Singin. This a no braynr. Which is yoosful, unner the circumstensiz.

5) There was another thin, but I needed to nap, so I fergettid it. But wen she finlee clapse on the bed, I snuggle up to her nee an goez to sleep wift her. Solidity wift the suffrin is verree importint, theolojiklee speekin.

If yu is writin yer theesis too, yu shud get a frend to do thees thins fer yu!