So Far, So Gud

Musashi Sez:

Well, so far I has been doin pertee gud on the rezolooshun front, altho it has not been easy. I wakes up at like three thirty oclock and I has to NOT WAYK MOM UP fer like whol HOURS until four thirty oclock finally happens on the clock. This is egzausting and often means aftr she leaves fer werk, I has to nap ALL MORNIN. But Mom has mostlee been keepin her rezolooshuns too, so I does not feel so bad about it.

Also, Jack is back!  Hooray! An also Anna, who is teetchin me to cook. I has been playin soccer wift Mom, so I shud be svelte by summertime.  (Mom says gud luck wift that. Thanks, Mom!)

Eventchoolee, I egspekt all this not waking Mom up is goin to get easier. When it does, I intend to make gud yoos of mai extra free time by taking up recreational sneezing.

New Yeer Rezolooshunz

 Musashi Sez:

Well Mom got verree upset with me this morning an she has been makin me writ mai noo yeer rezolooshunz all dae.  So far I got theez ones.

1. I will not trai to wake Mom up at midnigt fer brekfest. (she mayded me write this one like elebenty hundred times. I figger she want me to be sure that I am spellin the words rigt.)

2. I will not trai to wake Mom up until AT LEEST 4:30 in the mornin.

3. I will lern to tell time from the akshual clock.

So thoz are the ones she want me to resoloot. Here are some I has fer her:

1. I will get up an feed MUSASHI the first tim he pat me on the noz.

2. I will not has a cranky if I gets up to feed him an he alreddy has the fud.

Oddly enugf, I has notissed that Mr. Tyger an mai Rhinosersaucerous buddy has boft been findin othr things to do when this subjict comes up. Huh.

When the Cold Gets Colderer

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 Musashi Sez:

We  tried to send this one out last night, but there wuz whut mom called a Snffoo. Parently, that meenz technologee is actin up again, as usual.

So yesterdae, Mom an me wer werkin wift a apartmint that had heat whut she calls “innermittenly.” You migt think this means that the heat onlee werked from yer rigt front mitten to yer left, an yu wud not be entirelee rong. So she typed a lot whil I ran laps around the apartmint. (I wud hav worn her werkout soot, but it onlee hav 2 legs an they wer boft wae too long fer me.)

Layter, she went to “Werk Out At the Jim (WOAJ)” an she sed she got almost fiftee minits, but laytlee there has not been lots of tylet papr or towlz in the laydeez part of the jim. She says she thinks it is becuz of Girl Noo Yeer Rezolutionaries, of who there are more than thre are Girl Staff. But she says that by Febrooaree or March, that will work out when folks looz their rezolootness.

Meanwhil, our apartmint was cold an less-cold all day, until evening, when it got positively TOOCOLD. This not just a problim fer me an mom. Oh no. We also has the parental units of our Russhian roommate visitin from Moskow. So this a big problim, cuz of course, they not used to the verree cold wehter. Huh.

An then there were the communikayshunz problims, cuz mom onlee knows how to say “No. Plese. Thankque. Hello. Cheers.” and mebbee “Goodbye, Comrade” in Russian. An the parental units only knoes how to say, “Good Mornink. Thenkyu. Cold. Temperatura. Sick. Inglish bad.”

Which are to sae that they wer communicatin at the verree samest level. An that level not hav aneethin, words or fhrazis, like whut wud halp them communicate things like, fer egsample:

Them: The radiator isn’t working. It is very cold.

Mom: The landlord knows the radiator isn’t working. They will call me. Here is an extra blanket.

Them: Oh no. Do not give us your only blanket.

Mom: It is extra. For emergency. And the landlord will call me back.

It went on like that fer a while. But it turn out that if yu can show folks three extra blankets, an point wift yer toes to them an yu an then yooz Google Translator an prints the weird Cyriclic letters out, you kin commyoonikates just fin.

Also, it halps if maintenance eventchoolee calls an says that the oil feed thing wuz clogged, which explains the on-again, off-again, an now is fixed.

The we kin all sleeps warm, wiftout all the egstra blankits! Huh.

Our Noo Yeer Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Wull, Mom is at it agen, tryin to get me to rezoloot maiself to do stuffs she want me to do. An whut she want me to do is verree sneekylee lik whut she want to do herselfs. Fer example, she thingk I need mor egsersyz. Huh. An also, she want me to werk on the blog mor. Huh. An she thingk I cud be yoozin mai tim mor constructiv-lik if I wuzn’t alwayz nappin. Huh.

Wull, I has som rezolootin fer her too. I thingk she shud let us hav the FudNetwerk on the TV, cuz then I cud lern to cook reel gud whil she isn’t eevn hom to worree about it. She has toldid me about this cool stayshun that she somtim watch when she is at the jym on them eliptickle masheenz. She has lernd about Hollundayz saus an also how to peel a garlik thing properlee.

Sekund, she shud plae wift me mor. Yu noe, runnin an jumpin, an playin sokker wift the ballz wift bellz in them, an of cors the layzr pointr.

Lastest, we shud hav mor movie tim, lik that noo one wift that fellr Antonio the Spaynish kittee, wift the cayp an sord, cuz that wud be inspirayshunul fer us boft.

Cleerlee, if we boft wer to fix ourselfs lik we want to, we cud probablee rool the werld, or at leest becom Governaytr of part of it, lik Noo Inglund, fer egzampul. Then, wen we hasds our own flag, an maybee our own verree partikler donut, we wuds have so mutch powr, the werld wud finlee recognyz our genral amazingness an let us rool the whol werld.

I figgr we shud acheev this by the middul of Martch at the laytest.