A Noo Adventchur! At Sea!

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I has nuuz from the semafor pijjinz. Turns out mai mom's bot, the Gud Ship Hous, has runnd aground among the Seaz of Wintr, amid a maritym blizzerd, an she now adrift on a dessert iland, full of lotsa piez: cranberree an appul an nut an turkee an lik that.

So cleerlee it mai dootee to Up Saylz! on this Gud Ship Partmint. Wift mai loyl crue, Firtst Mayt "Layzr Poyntr" Josh an Qwartrmastr "Can Opnr" Haydee, I mus sayl souft to rescyoo mai mom. It mayk me feel lik singin! (ahem, me, me, me, me!)

Mai fathr wuz the keepr of the Eddyston Ligt
He slept wift a mermayd one fyn nigt
An frum that littr ther caym 3:
Porpus; Porkypin; the othr wuz ME!

Yo ho ho an the wind run free,
O fer a lyf on the rollin sea!
Yo ho ho an the wind run free,
O fer a lyf on the rollin sea!

Porpus got a job jumpin at Sea World.
Porkypin spends mosta his tim curled.
I'm saylin off to the Iland of Desserts
To find mai mom and to rescyoo her!

Yo ho ho an the wind run free,
O fer a lyf on the rollin sea!
Yo ho ho an the wind run free,
O fer a lyf on the rollin sea!

About the Comin of Spring, an also Bedooins

Musashi Sez:

All the hoomin peeples in mai lyf is talkin about how they wish spring wud be comin fasterer. Huh. As if hot wethr is bettr than cold wethr. That jus sillee. The hol middul of the wurld, that has that belt-thin calld “eekwaytor” has got hot. So why we need it? It’s bizzee bein down ther.

But hoomin peeples don’t mutch thingk, neer as I kin figger. So they ar alwaes wantin chaynje. An I sez, don’t be sillee. Lern to liv wift what yu got. Unless yu gots to eet the saym crunchee fud dae in an dae out. Then, yah, complayn a littul. But that is an egsepshun. Meenwhyl, I been lookin on the Interwebs to find out about whu akshul liv in hot playsiz all the tim. An what I fynded is interestin. So pae attenshun. Yu migt lern somthin.

I fynded out about this pryd of hoomin peeples calld “BEDOUINS.” They’r prettee cool cuz they wer blak all the tim eevn tho they liv in the desert. That’s a hot sandee plays, lik if yer littr box wer puttd in the ovn.

Yah. Egsaktlee. So we shud probabul respekt them. Cuz that soun reellee bad.

But, if yu beleevs Wikerpeedia, then the Bed-oo-inz ar NOMADS, that meen that they wandr aroun the desert, livin in canvas tents, tryin to fynd the bestest playsiz to liv fer a whyl, so their goats kin eet grass an dringk wadder an get biggerer. Then them bedooinz kin sell the goats or eet them. Is akshul mutch mor compulkaytd than that, but I figger yu littul kittees out ther wudn’t beleev me if I told yu mor.

OK, I tell yu jus a bit mor. See, ther ar CAMELS an they ar lik deer or mebbee horses, so they run reellee fast and don’t hav to dringk a hol lot of wadder. An they’r reellee strong. An also they somtims spit and wors, they somtims byt! But them bedooinz ar perty feers, so wen they ask the camels to go somplays, they goes, prettee fast. Spittin an gruntin, saym as the res of us migt do, but, oh yeah, they goes!

Blankits an Pirates

Musashi sez:

OK, I’m bak an owt of breft cuz I ran! all the way to the kapyuter wher mom wuz typin. So now I sit on the windo sill an tell her whut to spell.

I tell yu abowt PIRATES, whu wuz meen guys on ships, dozins an dozins of yeers ago when hoomin peeples wor big hats an curvee swords calld CUTLASSES. Pirates stole eetch othr’s ships an silver an gold an bloomers. Then they hid all the treazhur in caves on dessert ilands. That’s an iland far away from evrythin, wher yu kin get funnee drinks wift froot an littul umbrellers in them.

So yu probable sayin to yerself, “Why is Musashi telling me this? Ther ar no pirates in mai neyborhood.”

Huh. Yu got to be trustin me.

I tell yu this so yu kin get unner the blankits in the mornin on thos daes when yer mom or dad isn’t gettin up fer work. Yu get in ther wher it’s dark an yu kin pertend to be a pirate like Long Jon Silver or Kaptin Morgan or Jak Sparrow (he wuzn’t reelly a burd, he wuz actor). Yu kin pertend that yu jus stol all thos gold an bloomers from the ship nex door wift all the doggees on it, and yu mayd them walk on the plank an go splash! into the oshun an hav to doggee-paddul all the way hom. Then yu tayks yer treazhur (an it kin be pertend treazhur or yu kin bring a mousee fer that) an yu burrees it behind yer mom’s nees. Then yu kin go get anuthr mousee to burree or yu kin com bak wift a map wift a X on it an yu kin dig up mousee an tak him away.

Mebbe somtim I tell yu whut to do fer fun aftr yer mom or dad has chuckd yu owt of the bedroom an shut door.