Todae is Marerthon Day in Boston!!!

Musashi Sez:

So todae is Patriots Daye and the dae we celerbrate the Marerthon in Boston!! Woo woo!! Mom sez that it look like 30,000 people is gonna run past our house, an she also suspect taht about 10,000 drunk colledge stoodints is gonna walk irregularly past our house also, yellin things like, "Yooo kin do it!" an also "Yay yooo!" She sez this perdiction is comin from her past experience. I blieve her. Mostly. I mean seriusly, 30,000??

But meanwhile I has been sleepin on the compyuter chair of inspiraytshun. I has been gettin in touch wift my myooz an waitin fer her to show up. Then Mom kicks me off the chair, sayin, "Musash-kin, you gotta gets some exersize!" an then we plays soccer wift the ping pong balls.

Fer thos of yu whoo don't know, Musash-kin is the Russian diminyootiv fer Musashi, an it means that she likes me, which I kinda knew becuz she allus gets up an feeeds me when I pats her on the face at like 4:30 or 5:25 or 6:12 or 7:31 or 8:76 or whatever.

She bougted some noo shooz today and letted me smell them. They smelled kinda weird, not normal like her feets smell after a long day of work. But I guess she might be wanting a change. Meanwhile, we are watching the Buffy reruns togethr. I suspect she want me to pertect her if them vampyrz com in at night, becuz I am watchamacallit, oh yeah, nocturnal.

Hay, Weddin Stress! Bite Me!

Musashi sez:

As yu noe, mai Ont Meredift is workin verree hard on planning her weddin. Yu kin reed about it on her blog, helpmakecents. Mai mom sez Ont Meredift is havin lotsa stress, an that’s cauzin problims.

I asks: “What this stress thin?”

Mom sez: “Is wen lotsa stuff happnin all at the saym tim.”

I sez: “But yu do that all the tim.”

So she sez: “Yah, but it’s wors wift weddins. Is mor lik wen yu gets the crayzees, onlee runnin verree fast evreewher don’t halp, so yu starts tacklin peeple’s legs an chewin on arms.”

“Oh,” I sez, cuz I was hopin she hadn’t notissd.

But is OK, cuz we noes how to handul what mom callz the Uber-Crayzees. (It seem lik uber is the Germin werd fer wikkid, like “wikkid smartypants.” Yu kin alwaes tell wen mom ben talking to Mykul, whu teetch her Germin werds.)

This is wher we bring in the Bite-Meez. I lern about this from mai Onkul MeToo an mai Ont Jenna, whu alwaes WRESTLED wift a Bite-Meez doggee when they livd wift mai mom. (Mai granpa callz it “rasslin.”) See, mai Onkul MeToo is Uber-Crayzee almos all the tim, egsep wen he is sleepin on a lap. (I don’t sleep on laps. Yu see what it kin leed to?) I gots a Bite-Meez guy too, only mine’s a Tiger. He is verree feers, as yu kin tell. He try to chew on mai tummee or mai toez, an I holds him off wift mai feets whyl I grabs his hed an chew on his eers.

Is hard work, but I feels mutch betterer afterwards. Mom callz that CATHARSIS, that is parentlee a old Greek werd fer “chewin on somboddee’s eers.” (She didn’t say so, but I’m getting gud at figgerin out werds from CONTEXT.)

So aneewae, mai perscripshun fer Ont Meredift is she got to be getting a Bite-Meez to rassul wift.

Mom sez:

She has one. She lives with Uncle Me, Too.

Musashi Sez:

I noe that. Huh. So she kin borro Onkul MeToo’s doggee, an mebbe he kin teetch her som cool triks how to chew eers reellee gud. Then instead of bein all stressd, she kin be feers lik mom’s hero, Buffy, whu bashiz vampirez (Mom sez they’r lik rabid doggees, egsept they don’t dress as gud.)

An I givs them all 2 starz: Bite-Meez, Buffy, an Ont Meredift.