End-of-Spring Richoolz

Musashi Sez:

Todae is the beginning of the end of spring. So this lik the 12 Daez of Crismuss fer the befor-summr crowd.

Fer instins, I sillee-braytid this mornin at Sun-Riz* by dansin the Hokee-Pokee on mai Mom’z hed. She wuz veree gud about the whol thin, cuz she unnerstan richoolz. Parentlee, the Hokee-Pokee orijinaytid from this Ceiling Cat servis-thin frum the Middul Ayjiz, wen they sedz, “Hokee-pokee, heer com Jeezus.” An the peeplz whu wuz bizee prayin ther lookt up to see.

This is tru. I noe cuz mai mom tookt a class about Ceiling Cat Richoolz wift this gy Rick McCall, an I sleepd on her books.

So if yu gits a chans tomorrer morning, yu noez whut yu needz to do: Yu puts yer lef paw in, yu tayks yer lef paw owt, yu puts yer rigt paw in an yu shayks it all about. An lik that. Wift all yer paws, an yer hed, an eerz, an tayl.

Then it’s offishul the beginnin of the end of spring.

*Aroun egzaktlee 4:37 a.m.

Cinco de Meow, an Othr Stuffs

Musashi Sez:

Wull the dae afor yestrdae wuz Cinco de Meow, the dae wen, if yu livs in Meksiko, yu’r sposta be all graytful fer yer 9 lives. An yu eets cookeez wift skellingtons on them. I thingk it the heet that they gets in Meksiko that mayks them eet skellington cookeez. It make them stretch out egstra doorin their siestas and their brains gets a littul meltee.

Meenwhil, mai mom is workin on a noo projekt, this one on eekologee. This is lik how she com hom havin learnd about the Grayt Pasifik Garbudg Patch an she sez, “Eeek eek, hoominz is jus bad peepulz!!!!” An then I has to talk her down.

Then, wen she gets a littul calmr, she scoop me up an hug me an puts her noez aginst my tummee an muttrs about how I’m her buddee an she will sayv the werld fer me, an lik that.

Som daez is hardr werk than othrz, bein a kittee, that’s all I’m sayin.

Aneewae, I incuridgez her to werk on her eekolojee projekt, as it migt mayk her less scayrd of hoomin peepulz. I NOT wants her scardypants of hoominz. Hoominz is the peepulz what mayks kittee fud, an littr, and moussee toyz an lik that. So I werks to let her gets mor curridge.

Eevn if it meen she squeez me an talks to my tummee…. Huh!

Egg Salad…Huh!

Musashi Sez:

OK! So fer the big ol’ Eastr partee at her pastr/minstr’s hous, Mom mayded Baysmint Cat Eggs. The stuffs she hadsd left ovr, she callzd ”the fixins” of ‘egg salad.’”

Huh!

Yuh, I noez. “Egg” salad. So, lik, I bet she goin to tell me that them littul eggz, wayrin them littul ayprunz, wuz the wunz whu maydid the salad, perzoomabul out of chickinz an mayonayz-peeplz an lik that (whu also perzoomabul wor littul ayprunz).

Huh. Lik I faalz fer that!

Cleerlee, ther iz onliest green salad, whut yu kin trust.

Goets an The Cheez They Mayks

Musashi Sez:

Wull, tonigt mai mom mayd this funnee salad that had spinch an orxo an “goet cheez” and stuffs. I sed, “Whut? They mayks cheez outa goets? That uber-yuckee!”

But she sed, “NO! The goets mayk the cheez themselfs. They wayr littul ayprunz an churn the milk til it turns into cheez. Ther is eevn ‘enzymz’ involvd.”

Huh. She sez this, but I not convinsd. I googld fer piktchrz of goetz wayrin aprunz an I not find anee! An jus a littul whil ago we findid 110,000 goolgl thingies fer “dam yu, jack frost.”

So I not taystin her stranj salad.

Yu noe. Jus in cays…

Myoozik Revyoo

Musashi Sez:

Wull, mai mom has almost recovrd frum singin in front of lots of peeples. She didsd a gud job, from whut I has herd. I also got to see the recordin of her veree seeryus paypr about Ceiling Cat an his son Happy Cat an that othr fellr whu is eethr Hover Cat, or, possibul, a berd.

Ckristiantee is a verree confuzzlin reelijun.

Still, I iz prowd of her fer bein brayv an also fer getting hom frum it all before 1:00 in the mornin to feed me mai dinnr. She wuzn’t egzaktlee all perkee an reddee to plae wift the layzr poyntr lik I wuz, but yu can’t has evrthin.

I also thangks the hoomin, Pippa, fer singin wift mai mom, cuz she wudda lukt pertee stoopid singin half the song by herself, lik that old Caturdae Nigt Liv show wift the Pips but no Gladdis. Huh.

Bein Polyt

Musashi Sez:

Wull, in an-tissi-payshun of mai mom’z comin out as a soprono-girl-typ-singr, she has bougtid a veree cool witch’s hat. She left it on the bed an I thougt, “Huh. It blak. I’m blak. I shud go nap on this noo hat.” An so I rapt maiself around it, but I reelyzd that it is poyntee. I is not poyntee, cuz mom sez being poyntee is not polyt. An I wuz bornd in a tuxedo, so I wuz bornd to be polyt, at leest twennee-free hourz a dae.

So I is “navrgaytin” this whol polytniss thin. But meenwhil, I is servin as mai mom’s vocal cotch. This meen that she sing an I complayns about how she sing. I is getting veree gud at this.

“Huh!” sez I. “Yer A Flat kinda suk. Yu shud consintrayt mor on wher yer tong is.”

Or:

“Yu call that a E? Yer vybrott-o is goin to shimmy that down to a F-sharp. Huh.”

Lik that. I figgr, if I can’t mayk it as a innernashunnul spai, I kin be a top notch vokil cotch.

An that Symin Cowl fellr frum Inglund had bettr watch his toez…

Dam Yu, Jak Frost! (Apparentlee)

Musashi Sez:

So todae Mom caym hom veree layt. Fynlee!!! It tuk her long enugf!

But she wuz veree ty-erd, cuz she spent the WHOL dae at her skool, the one wher she is lernin stuffs about Ceiling Cat. This also the one wher she lernd to tie a bo-tie yestrdae, an wher she is currentlee studeein about Ceiling Cat’s son, Happy Cat. Her paper that she is givin on Fridae nigt is about this whol Trinitee (Ceiling Cat bein three peeplez) problim. In the New Revised LOLCat Version (NRLV) of the Bybul, it seem lik ther ar a fyoo ideerz about whu that 3rd person luk lik. An Mom iz goin to talking about that.

But also, she is goin to be singin a song fer her frend whu is havin a hard tim. AND she got Shang-Hyd into a nuthr “skit” (this lik a reelee short plae, egsept it is moslee song). She is a littul less nervus about it. She say that the mor peeplez ther is, the less nervus yu has to be. She call this “soshul sykologee.”

Also, mai mom want yu to noe that she wrytid a bit about the Japan thing on her skool’s blog. Yu kin find it at 99Brattle.blogspot.com

PS: Mai mom wud lik to point out that wen she Googld, “Dam yu, Jak Frost,” she gottid 110,000 responses. This cleerlee sugjest somthin. We ar jus not shur egzaktlee whut.