Gard Kittee vs. the Steemeraytr

Musashi Sez:

Wull, we wuz reedin buks todae, wen all of a suddin ther started beein sqweekee noiziz frum the cornr of the room. Mom sed it wuz jus the steemeraytr, but thingkd it wuz mousseez. Yu can’t trust them mousseez. If yu let them sqweek unnr yer florbordz they will tayk ovr the whol partment. So I jumpt up on the bak of the coutch, cuz I has reeded the Art of War and that fellr Klawzwitz, an they say it is verree importint to tayk the high ground, and mom sed that cud inclood coutchiz.

She is verree luckee that I am so flexobbul in all the things I kin do. I bet my unkulz whu are doggeez aren’t neerlee as gud as I am at gardin. Huh.

Mai Continyooin Edumakayshun an Career Planz

Musashi Sez:

OK, so mai mom is a gud writr. Peeplez pay her to halp them to figgr out their writin problimz. So wen she is confuzzled about writin, it ar a big deel.

Now she is writin her sekund Master Theesis, only this one is verree small, onlee 12% of her othr Mastrz Thesis, an onlee 27% of her Batchlr’z thesis, so this mayk her less than entirelee happee wift her school, given that she gots less time to thingk about thesis stuffs an mor dezyr to sayv the werld wift it.

Still she and me are thingkin verree hard. Also, our frend Pamler has ben halpin. She com ovr on las Frydae to halp mai mom thingk thru all the cirkyoolr stuffs she had ben thingkin throo. I not follr all of it, but it seem lik the mayn problim has to do wift talkin about storeez folk alreddee noe. How yu do that wiftout them taykin suddin naps?

So cleerlee, I has ben thingkin about how I cud becom somthin innerestin, lik a chef or a spai, cuz cleerlee the writer/Inglish teetchr thing is not so re-myoonrative. Huh.

Which is not so sae that I has givn up the ideer of somdae getting a ponee an praktissin at becoming a cowboy-kittee. Yu has to hold onto yer dreemz, aftr all.

Our Noo Yeer Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Wull, Mom is at it agen, tryin to get me to rezoloot maiself to do stuffs she want me to do. An whut she want me to do is verree sneekylee lik whut she want to do herselfs. Fer example, she thingk I need mor egsersyz. Huh. An also, she want me to werk on the blog mor. Huh. An she thingk I cud be yoozin mai tim mor constructiv-lik if I wuzn’t alwayz nappin. Huh.

Wull, I has som rezolootin fer her too. I thingk she shud let us hav the FudNetwerk on the TV, cuz then I cud lern to cook reel gud whil she isn’t eevn hom to worree about it. She has toldid me about this cool stayshun that she somtim watch when she is at the jym on them eliptickle masheenz. She has lernd about Hollundayz saus an also how to peel a garlik thing properlee.

Sekund, she shud plae wift me mor. Yu noe, runnin an jumpin, an playin sokker wift the ballz wift bellz in them, an of cors the layzr pointr.

Lastest, we shud hav mor movie tim, lik that noo one wift that fellr Antonio the Spaynish kittee, wift the cayp an sord, cuz that wud be inspirayshunul fer us boft.

Cleerlee, if we boft wer to fix ourselfs lik we want to, we cud probablee rool the werld, or at leest becom Governaytr of part of it, lik Noo Inglund, fer egzampul. Then, wen we hasds our own flag, an maybee our own verree partikler donut, we wuds have so mutch powr, the werld wud finlee recognyz our genral amazingness an let us rool the whol werld.

I figgr we shud acheev this by the middul of Martch at the laytest.

We Gits Cultchurd

Musashi Sez:

Wull, mai mom just caym bak from a verree fansee plays calld a Opra Hous, which had all kindsa gold on the walls an the ceiling, an also som paintings of laydeez in their nigtshirts on the ceiling too. She wuz not ther to see a opra, however, but whut she did see wuz almost as high up ther on the Cultchrul Continuumnumum. It is called ballay, but because it is Frentch, they spelz it ballet. Thos Frentch folks spelz funnee, but becuz they are way mor cultchrul then us Merikanz, we has to puts up wift it.

The Ballet she saw wuz calld The Nutcrackr. It is a verree straynj storee. See this little girl naymd Cora or Clara or Cathee or somthin is at a Christmus partee an her majik onkul gives her a soldjer doll whu can brayk nuts in his teeft. She is so impressd by this skill that she falls asleep unner this funnee tree wift ligts in it. Then a buntcha micez com and wayk her up an mayk fun of her an challinj her to a duel. But she not old enugf to duel yet, so the soldjer doll becomz reel so he kin figt fer her. A clown doll serve as his sekund. Ther a big swrd figt.

(Fer thoz of yu whu is connasoorz, the mice king yooz a simitar an the soldjer doll yoos a straigt sword. An sinse this play wuz writid in 1892, that tell yu all yu need to know about whu win that figt. Huh.)

That’s the whol egsytin part, but the play keep goin wift all these faireez an Unitid Nayshunz delegits dansin around becuz they ar so impressed wift the soldjer. This problee one of them meddafors.

I wuzn’t too impresst to heer about this, but Mom insist it verree cultchurul, an she say that them dansrz whu play all the parts are lik Olimpic athletes in how they has to work out to be strong enough to dans around and leap! an spin! an pik eetch othr up!

So I think I’m goin to try bein a Ballard fer a whil. That whut Mom say is the gy-version of a ballerina, which is the gurl-version, parentlee. The gyz not gotta wear tutuz, which I thingk is a good thin, reellee, cuz it is hard enugf to leap! ovr mai box wift just all my legz to worree about. Havin a tutu wud jus mayk evrthin mutch too diffrcult.

Mai Pertee Gud Weekend

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I had a pertee gud weekend yestrdae. Mom an me sleept in an then we gots up layt an she chased me! Verree Fast! Across the room! Then I tukt a nap in the bak room whil she eatid brekfist. Aftr that she wuz typin an I went in an draggd her awae from the kapyootr an mayd her chase me! Agen! She is aktchoolee verree fast fer such a big persin. She offin catch mai tail. Cleerlee, I needs mor praktis. I hoep to get som in whil she is on vacayshun.

We also playd wift mai noo toy. She gottid it fer me about a year ago, but I onlee just notissd it. It is a big bloo circle like one of them baygul thins wift the creem cheez, egsept this not have anee cheez. It is hollo an has a ball in it that goes around an around. It is rivittin! But it is mutch bettrer to plae wift this wen Mom is hom, cuz she halps.

See, I layz down on one side an puts one arm in on eethr side. Then I bats the yellr ball bak an forft wift mai pawz. This is ok until the ball gets stuk on the othr side wher I not can reetch, an so if Mom isn’t ther to bat it bak to me, I has to get up an go do somthin els. But if she’s ther to plae wift me, then we gets a Volly goin, and kin plae fer lik TEN WHOL MINITS!!! at a tim.

And then I gets tierd an has to climb up on mai goldee pillo on the cowtch an tayks a nap.

It is verree strenyoous livin mai lif. Huh.

Bein Distractyoolaytid wen Writin

Musashi Sez:

Peeples offin aks me how I deelz wift distrak- yoolayshun wen I ar writin. The ansr is that I doez it veree well, thx alot. Yu kin tell cuz the lastest blog I writid, I started to writ about Occuyoopai Sesame Street an I endid up writin about limbr supports an shiatsu an lik that.

Woops!

Mai frend, Pamlr, wuz telling mai mom about how she deel wift distract- yoolayshun wen she is writin. She go Online and luk fer kittee videos. This a verree yoosful kinda whut we callz in the biznis, “Constructiv Perkastinayshun.” Whil she is watchin the kittees pounsin on the doggeez or rollin downstayrz lik a slinkee, she is havin giggulz an gud positiv feelinz, an letting her brayn musselz relax. Then she kin go back to her writin.

I yooz a simlr techneek, egsept that I am the one whu has to do the pounsin—-moslee on mom, but somtimz I leeps! ovr my box an runs awae. Verree fun. I reckamend it to aneeboddee whu is lukin to perkastinayt about theyr writin wen they has ben distractyoolaytid.

Occyoopai Sesame Street Et Setera

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I wuz goin to writ about that Occyoopai Sesame Street thin, but then mai mom gottid a verree bad cold, so I am goin to writ about that instead. She keep goin, “Corf, corf, corf. Krshneezl! Honk!” This is not so mutch fun to lissen to, as it tern out. (In part cuz it soun to me mor lik the woof of a Cheewowa, that ar sillee-lookin doggeez at the bestest of timz.) Aneewae, she ar sik, an I has the responsbabilitlee of halpin her, if I can.

I offrd to mayk Tea, but parentlee that reqwir thumz. An I offrd to gets her orinj joos frum the stor, but that reqwir goin outsid wher all them big noyzee carz an truks ar, an also havin pockits fer monee, an lik that.

So moslee I has jus ben ovrseein. This meen sleepin on her ankulz, an givin her kittee shiatsu, cuz ther ar som powrful poynts on the feemr bon that kin halp wift the immyoon systim. An wen she goez to the kitchin, I follrs her ther, an wen she goes to the baftroom I follrs her ther an mayk shur she gits back to bed sayf. Aslo, I gives her kittee shiatsu on her limber supports, which ar the spynl stuffs that keeps her uprigt.

An then I naps on her nee whil she sleepin, becuz if yu has got cold, yu needs to has warm neez. Huh. Probabul that why she gottid sik in firtst plays, from havin cold nees in San Fransisko, wiftout me bein ther to keep them warm.