An the Winnr iz Gimlee!

Musashi Sez:

So the final vot wuz 19.5 starz fer Chuk Noris and 70 starz fer Gimlee, son of Gloin. I askd mom how I cud fit 70 starz on the blog an she sed she cud teetch me somthin calld “LONG DIVISION.” That’s math, akshully. See you writs down 70 in a half a box an then yu puts the 19.5 on the side wift the walls. Then yu writs a 3 on the top of the box, an skribblz on a envlop. That’s a importint part. Then yu writs 58.5 unner the 70, an duz “SUB-TRAKSHUN” an that’s like takin the 58 thing away an seein what’s left. This rekwyrs crossin out numbrs an puttin in littul 1s on top. Then yu writs 11.5 unnerneeth an adds mor 0s on top nex to the 70 wift all the crossin out parts. Ther’s mor skribblin an crossin stuff out. I didn’t follo it all. Aneewae, mom insists that in whut she call Real Star Terms, Gimlee hav 3.5 starz, and Chuk get 0.

I don’t mind fhyziks, but this math stuff is fer burds.

Tru-er Awsumniss: Chuk Noris or Gimlee?

Musashi Sez:

I ben skayt-bordin on the Interwebs, an I foun lots of syts about this Chuk Noris feller. Seemz lik he the bomb. Hoomin peeples ar alwaes goin on about how he kin kick othr hoominz’ butts. He eevn got his own jeans brand, Mom sez, wift space between the back legs in cays yu gots to kick somboddee in the hed. Also, if yu beleevs his websyt, eevn the boogeeman chek its clozit in cays Chuk Noris is ther hydin!!!

So, OK, this guy migt be kinda cool, but I dunno. Ther this othr guy whu is mebbe mor impressiv, cuz he’s short and (Mom sez) CURMUDGEONLY an UNDER-HYPED. His naym is Gimlee (son of Gloin, whu is gud frends wift Bilbo Baggins!), an he helpd bring down the Eevl Dark Lord, Sawron!!! An he don’t use repeetin gun-thins. He use a big battul axe. That meen yu gots to git closerer to the guy yu wants to kill, an that soun kinda skaree. Somtim, Gimlee a littul cross-eyd, but I spect that's cuz he is tryin to keep his ey on evryboddee.

So whut I decydid to do is this. I’m goin to have a contest. Yu all gots to vot on whu is betterer: Chuk Noris or Gimlee son of Gloin. Also, yu gots to desyd whu gits how manee starz. (Ther onlee choysiz 0 to 5 starz.)