Mai Noo Kareer Planz, Dspyt Mom

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I noe that mai mom is ternin into a bleedin-hart librul pasifst dweeb, her praktis of kungfu notwifstandin, but I has desydid aneewae to becom a Warrieer Kittee wen I growz up. This becuz I fyndid theez reelee cool piktchrz of kittee wariooor armr on the Innrwebz.

Seemz lik, bak wen hoomin peeplez wer figtin wift sordz, they hads halp frum their kittee companyunz, whu of cors yoozd their clawrz, but needed a littul proteckshun in addishun to that.

Cuz, yu noe, amreez ar danjrus playsiz to go. Huh.

I cud be samrai, lik in Japan, or I cud be somthin “diffruntlee glamruss.” See, I lernin plitikul crektness (which I think has to do wift dill pikkulz swimming in cricks wiftout innerfeerins. Still not 1000% shur...)

Bizee, Bizee, Bizzee

Musashi Sez:

Wull, this wuz goin to be a blog about how ridiklus bizzee mai mom is, but then we hadsd a copy/paste aksident wift the werd CUT ignominioususlee prezint wher we NOT wantid it.

Yu all missd a grayt blog. It menshund that moovee about taht king fellr whu cudn't meow propr, an also mai mom'z oppertoonitee to sing backup fer a old frend whu wus recording psalms an othr songz about Ceiling Cat.

*Sigh*

Yu don't now whut yu misst.

An I dint eevn get to tell yu bout all the books I'm sleepin on to halp wift mai mom'z litratchoor rivyoo fer nex yeer.

I gess yu'll jus hafta wait...

Akseptin Kissus Grayshuslee, Wen Yu Absloot Has To

Musashi Sez:

Wull, OK, doorin this Aminul Companyun extendid-holrdae, there wer bellee rubz, cuz I bleev in doin whut I can fer mai persnul aminul companyun, whu yu gyz all noe as Mom or Momsu. Whut I fergettid about (but unforchoonitlee, she dint) wuz bellee kissiz.

Brraaaggh aaaagh aaagh brrraaaagh.

Huh.

It not that I not enjoy a gud bellee rub now an then, lik, wuns a dae, fer instins, wen mai mom FYNLEE comz hom aftr havin ben awae fer owrz an owrz an OWRZ. It jus that wift hoominz lik mai mom, a bellee rub kin tern into a bellee kiss. *Sigh*

An I wuz bein SO GUD todae. I let mai mom hold me in the rockee chayr fer ten (10) whol minits!!! This a rekerd fer us.

But them bellee kissiz is jus embarrassin. The bestest I kin sae is that she nevr do it wen sombuddee els aroun to git the saym ideer. Othrwiz, bein as unbarablee cyoot as I is, I’d nevr get tim to mai self.

Also, it kinda tikkul.

Huh.

Lov Yer Pet Dae

Musashi Sez:

Our bathroom kalndr, the one I has to jump up on the toylit to see, sez that todae is “Lov Yer Pet Dae.” Now, altho I perfer the term “aminal companyun” still they gots a point.
Yu shud go giv yer aminal companyun a bellee rub or mebbe sevun. An sins tomorro is a holrdae, yu kin do som mor of this then too.

But yu NOT gotsta tell him or her how owtrayjiouslee cyoot their toez ar. Trust me: they alreddee noez. Huh.

I (Musashi) is NOT a Bug, Big or Littul. Huh!

Musashi Sez:

Huh. Mai mom offin comz hom an sez, “MooSAshi! How’z mai littul bug?” an I has to remynd her that I am not a bug. I ar a kittee. We ar verree diffrunt, cuz I has fewer legz than bugs has. Also, I not has antennae; I has whiskrz. Also, I am 13 pounds big, so I am not partiklarlee littul, akshullee.

But does she lissin? Hard to sae.

She tell me that she had a weerd, long, compulkaytid dreem, aftr which she figgrd out whut she bleev to be the 2 main troofts about hoomin peeplz.

1. Hoomins do the saym thing ovr an ovr agen, so wen they (rayrlee) chaynj their waez, it is worthee of attenshun.
2. An hoomins kin chaynj pertee radiklee when they wants to.

Wift theez 2 ideerz, we kin unnerstan why hoomin peeples do the stoopid stuff they do.

Whups!

Musashi Sez:

I fergettid to inclood the cartoon of me channelin mai mom. Heer it is. Yu kin tell how gud that Patrik McDonnell is by how gud he got me (egsept mai noz not so big) and how brillyuntlee he got the mai-mom-bein-sik part.

Whut a brillyunt artist!!!

Happee Valentynz Dae!

Musashi Sez:

Wull, we has ben bizee laytlee an no mistayk! Mom is onlee finlee getting not-sik. Up til resentlee, she wuz soundin like this cartoon, if you kin imajinayt me channelin her. Whut’s eevn mor surpryzin is that, becuz of “sindicayt” roolz, this cartoon caym out 2 whol weeks ago, which is wen mai mom wuz akshul sik!!! Amazin.

Meenwhil, I ternd 3 yeerz old an din’t eevn notis, cuz me an mom wer so egsytid about the noo rug that our rommayt bougted. So on the downsid, noboddee singin to me, but on the upsid, noboddee tryin to mayk me dans. So I figgr I caymd out eevn. An now todae is Valentynz Dae, aftr that fellr whu givd folks gold if they wuz por. An mom sez we cud give eetch othr gud Valentynz prezints tonight, if wen I sleeps on her knee she don’t snor an I don’t “try to tayk up the egzakt middul of the bed, wher I happin to be sleepin, huh.” Her werds, not myn.

We wishiz yu fuzzee hugs an enugf room to sleeps.

PS: The akshul photograpf is an akshul phot of ME, Musashi. Yu kin pertend I signd it fer yu.