Diffrcult Myoozik

Musashi Sez:

So we has ben listenin to som egsytin myoozik, lik “Yu an Me” from that myoozikul Viktr/Viktoria wift all the whit ty an tailz. Mom an me has ben singin an dansin around the livin room when our roommates aren’t around (cuz that wud jus be embarrassin). Folks wud thinks that I am ligt on mai feets, and I gots lots of feets, so we ar talking LOTS of embarrassmint.

An of cors Mom is a gurl, so altho she luk okay in a top-hat, she not egzaktlee happee about the whol thin, an she probabul rigt when she say that if she wuz wearin a eevnin gown, I wud probabul gets mai clawz caugtid in it, which wud be bad.

But I gotta say, this myoozik, fer all its faults, is still betterer than that who “Call Me Rabies” crayze that has been goin on this past year. Huh. Mai nepfyoo-once-remoovd, Collin Britt mayd a fansee choir verzhun of this song and gottid hisself an his frends on the TV fer doin this song that get unner yer skin in annoyin wayz. So now I am two degreez from sombodee faymus, which mayk me feel betterer about that song.

But mostlee, I purrferz that Mylz Davis fellr. I kin listen to his myoozik all day, wayvin my tail bak an forth in tim, an, yu noe, kina groovin. In mair hart I iz a Jazz Kittee.

Trains, Alligaytrs, an Brillyunt Scientists

Musashi Sez:

Mai mom sez weerd stuffs somtims. Lik wen she is about to go orf to work, she sez, “An I’m orf lik a herd of tertulz,” although I am pertee shur that turtulz is not herd beests, kinda lik how kitteez isn’t. An as she go out the dor, she say, “See ya laytr, alligaytr!” An if she not get out the dor fast enugf, I kin heer her sayin, “Huh. Yer sposta say, ‘In a whil, crocadial,’” as if she is talking to me, which she is probabul not becuz I am not one of them big lizerd peeples.

Mai theery is that goin to werk mayk her a little crazy. So she is invoking the turtul an lizerd gods to keeps her sayf on the train to werk, cuz trains is danjerus.

Yu asks how I noe about trains? Well, see, I has watchd lotsa cowboy movies ovr the years an also spy moovies, an peeples is always jumpin on trains an chaysin each other an shootin at each other, lik that Indiana Jonez fellr, or Jim Bond, the spy.

Mom is probabul nervus that sombodee is goin to jump on her train an she is goin to have to chase them off. An she noez kung fu, so she cud reellee figt them, yu noe, paw to paw! Pow! Wack! Bam! Bif! Jus lik that. An she wud totallee nock them orf the train in like ten seconds flat!!!

I noe that she is sayf aftr she get off the train, cuz she werk at MIT where there is lotsa brillyunt scientists inventin stuffs. She meets them somtimz in her work when they ar havin trubbul writin down their brillyunt ideers. An I figger that they wudn’t werk at MIT if it wuzn’t sayf ther.

Dreem Catchin as a Hobbee

Musashi Sez:

Yu may not noe this, but the peeples whu wuz heer in Merika befor the Inglish an Frentch peeples came an tuk ovr ar called Naytiv Merikans. They coms in lotsa flayvrs, which we calls “tribes,” which is kinda lik famileez, onlee more so.

One of them tribes got this thing that is a circle with a web inside an som feathrz, an it is called a “Dreem Catchr.” Yu puts it on the wall of yer tent (or yer partmint) an it sucks the nightmayrz out of yer head or at leest out of yer house. That’s whut folks sez, but I don’t bleev it, myself.

Personlee, I thinks that whut yu reellee need is a kittee, lik me. I come an sit at mai Mom’s hed around 4 in the mornin, wen it is still dark an the bad dreemz thingk that they are sayf. They thingk that they kin jus dance around mai Mom’s hed wiftout havin to worree that they will get caugtid.

But they are rong. Becuz there is me to catch them an bring them to the dreem eqwiviileent eqwivla eq

I tayks them to Jayl. Huh.

An then, somtimz, if I ar luckee, Mom checks my fud bowl an seez if I needz mor fud. But that is egstra. That is NOT the reezon I pat her on the cheek til she wayk up. Nop. Of cors not.

I am depressd yu eevn thingk so. Huh.

Jayn Awsome an Authrz Lik That

Musashi Sez:

So Mom sed that I shud kyoor mai writr blok by writin about the weathr, but then I finded out that yesterdae wuz the 200^th anniversrree of Pryd an Prejoodis (altho not the one wift the zombeez, cuz that is mor reesint). Mai mom reeds this sorta old litrachoor. Peeples in Jayn Awsome’s books say werds like “esteem” an “amiable” an lik that. Wen she reed the books agen or watch the movie wift Emr Tompson, Mom start yoozin werds lik this until I kin hardly unnerstand her.

But the clothesez weren’t so bad. Yu cud be lik me, an wear a blak coat an a whit cucumberbund an a whit Ascot thingy, an peeples think that you are all formal an stuffs. An that fellr, Alan Rikmin, whu playd Perfessr Snap in the Harry Pottr mooveez, he also is the kinda gy whu kin be a Captin in the British Nayvee, wift a fansee yooniform, an a veree impressive hat wift lotsa gold brayd.

An they hads the icky weathr then too, jus lik we do, but they didn’t has Thinsulate or really big boots or extra purpul scarfs an stuffs lik that, so they probabul had lotsa coldz an flooz, not like us, who onlee has them sometimz, lik in Febrooraree.

An Jayn Awsome wuz not the onliest authr whu writid about this stuffs. There wuz this othr gy, Charlie Dickens, also writ about Inglund at this time, an if yu bleevz him, yu wud think that everyboddee in Inglud nue everyboddee else then. Which I personlee don't bleev. Huh.

But we are talkin about litrachoor, so I gess I cud be wrong.

My Big Ol Writr Blok

Musashi Sez:

I noe that I promisd to writ mor, but I has had the writr blok an it not look lik this, cuz if it did I wud hav the lettrs to mayk the werds. Mom sed I shud writ about mai blok, cuz then at leest I’d be writin, so heer we go.

I tried doin what she do, sittin on the littul rollee chair an tappity-tappin on the kapyootr keybord, but it not werk. Wen Mom do that, she gets all theez fansee sentinses an praragrufs. When I do it I get alphabit soop. Huh. 

So if yu got ideerz fer what I kin writ about, yu send them in the comments section an I answer yer qwestions an lik that. Cuz I getting perty bord chaysin my metrforicul tail. (Cuz only doggeez chays their akshul tails. But yu knue that.)

Cookin as a Art

Musashi Sez:

Wull, we has ben reedin our frend Amandr’s blog laytlee (she halped us last semester wen I gots glue on my feets). She writs about fud when she not halpin the halpless. Recentlee she an mai mom has been talkin about ruts an how they can experimentate to get out of them. So, fer example, Mom bougtid kumqwats, which I was generalee for cuz they are akshullee spelled lik yu’d expect, which is rare in my egsperiens. But she cooked them, an that turn out not so gud cuz they cook mor lik leminz than lik orinjiz. So Mom’s tongue got pickled.

I, on the othr paw, has been expgerimenting wift boot noodles. These are eevn betterer than shoe noodles, cuz they is longerer and has more heft. When yu has had a long day of nappin an scarin the birdeez off the ledgiz it is gud when somebody coms hom wift the boot noodles fer yu to plae wift.

Mom also lik the noodles to snak on, but not the ones in her boots. She perfer them wift soy saws, fer som reezin.

Mai Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Huh. Wull, I had ment to mayk rezolooshunz about writin mor, but I fergettid. An evree tim Mom is on the kapyootr typin, I gets all egsytid an we has to chays the red dot, whu is sekretlee a Robot Laydee Bug. Mom calls this “getting distractulayted” but I thinks of it as constructive perkastination, cuz I’m getting so mutch egsersize from runnin around in circles.

But meewhyl, I has rembembered that Art is mayd of stuffs othr than jus oil an watrcolrz. Akchoolee, art also incloood Dans an Skulptchoor an also Myoozik, so I has engajed resentlee in all of thees Artz. I wull tel yu about them eventchoolee, but rigt now, Mom wants to go to bed an she is getting crankee when I wayks her up at lik 4 in the morning an insists on playin at theez arts. So I has to sleep at nigt (ridikyoolus ideer) an onlee gives her mai inventive ideerz in the morning.